SMS Jokes , quotes , funny texts - page 2

SMS Joke : Wife and Husband

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked "Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?" She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today.. .............. 
Moral : Accompany ur wife....

The story continues....

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased. 
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit card..........
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Story continues....
Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse and swiped. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.
Moral: Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE.

Still continues...
After swiping, the machine indicated 'ENTER OTP SENT TO YOUR MOBILE'.
Moral: When Man tends to lose, machine is smart enough to save him!


Still continues....
When she turned back with depression, her mobile ringed showing forwarded SMS "your OTP is......" Finally she bought her items & returned back happily
Moral: what are you thinking about Men! He always sacrifices himself for his wife


SMS Joke :  Police 100


DEADLIEST JOKE EVER IN the HISTORY OF SANTA & BANTA...
Santa - 
What  will happen if i dial 001 on my phone???
Banta - 
police jeep will come in reverse.

SMS Joke : Wife and Husband

WOMEN ALWAYS ROCK..

.....A man was back from office & was shocked to see that his kids were playing out, in mud still in pajamas.
In kitchen he saw unwashed dishes, counter with no food, milk spilled on the floor & sugar, cereal, bìscuits all over the place.
In living room the situation was even worse. Toys, shoes, unwashed clothes & broken vases were messed up all over the place.
He rushed to bedroom to check if his wife was sick or had hurt herself during the day.
But amazed to find her comfortably lying on bed watching TV.
He asked her what had happened in the house.
She replied "Everyday u come back home & ask me what did I do the whole day?
Well!
Today I thought of giving U the answer...." 

SMS Joke Bites - From Husbands !!

NARAD SAYS TO ALL WIVES :

if ur husband sends u romantic msgs then be very happy, but think who is sending those msgs to ur husband ? 
my job is over ........
narayan narayan


Boy : Tum ladki hoke daaru piti ho?
Awesome reply by girl : To kya 2-4 peg ke liye gender change karwau

Wife-Aap Bangkok jaate ho toh mujhe kyo nahi le jaate..
Best answer by husband :-- Are pagli jab restaurant mein jaate he toh tiffin thodi le jaate he.

Succesful marriage is based on 'GIVE & TAKE'.
Husband Gives Money, Gifts, Dresses
&
Wife Takes it.
Wife Gives Advices, Lectures, Tensions
&
Husband Takes it. Enjoy Successful marriage Life


SMS Joke Bites - Engineers !!

5 Doctors and 5 Engineers are travelling by rail from Pune to Mumbai.
They gather at Pune Railway Station.
Both groups desperately try to prove their superiority.
SCENE 1 (PUNE-MUMBAI):
--------------------------------------
5 Engineers buy only 1 ticket, and 5 doctors buy 5 tickets. doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come
When TC arrives, all 5 Engineers get into one toilet, so when TC knocks, one hand comes out with the ticket and the TC goes away.
On the return journey, they don't get a direct train to Pune, so both group decide to take a passenger train till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a Local Train to Pune.
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI-LONAVALA):
--------------------------------------------
Doctors decided, "This time, we will prove that we are smarter".
5 doctors buy 1 ticket, Engineers don't buy any ticket at all ! TC arrives
All doctor IN ONE TOILET.
ALL Engineers IN THE OPPOSITE TOILET.
One Engineer gets out and knocks the door of doctor toilet.
One doctor's hand comes out with the tickets,
Engineer takes the ticket and enters toilet.
TC drives out all the doctor from the toilet,
And they are heavily fined.
SCENE 3 (LONAVALA):
-------------------------------
Now, both the groups are at LONAVALA Railway Station.
Doctors are planning their move for a last chance, They board the local train to Pune.
This time, doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.
ALL doctors take 1 ticket
Engineers buy 5 tickets.
TC Comes. All Engineers show their tickets,
AND Doctors are still searching for toilet in the Local train!!!!!

Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, Don't mess with Engineers.