SMS jokes , funny texts , Quotes , Humor , Stories - Page 9

Ego

Once there was an island where all the feelings lived together. One day there came a storm in the sea and the island was about to drown .Every feeling was scared but Love made a boat to escape. All the feelings jumped in the boat except for one feeling. Love got down to see who it was...it was Ego! Love tried & tried but Ego didn't move. Everyone asked Love to leave Ego & come in the boat but Love was meant to Love. It remained with Ego. All other feelings were left alive but Love died because of Ego!!

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Wife: Where are you?
Husband : At home love.
Wife: Are you sure?
Husband: Yes.
Wife : Turn on the mixer.
Husband : (turns mixer on) Rrrreeereeeereeee...
Wife: Ok my love goodbye.

Another day......
Suspicious Wife: Where are you?
Husband : At home love. Wife: Are you sure?
Husband : Yes.
Wife: Turn on the mixer.
Husband: (turns mixer on) Rrreeereeeereeee...
Wife: Ok my love goodbye.

The next day, the wife decides to go home without notice, and finds her son alone and she asks him, "Son, where is your father?"

Son: "I don't know, he went out with the mixer..

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A German once visited a temple under
construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God...

Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby...
Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you
need two statues of the same idol?"
"No," said the sculptor
without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage..."

The gentleman
examined the idol and found no apparent damage...

"Where is the damage?" he asked.
"There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still
busy with his work....

"Where are you going to install the idol?"

The sculptor replied that it would be
installed on a
pillar twenty feet high...

"If the idol is that far who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?"
the gentleman asked.

The sculptor stopped work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said,

"I will know it..."

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not....

"Excellence" is a
drive from inside, not outside....

Excellence is not for
someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction and efficiency.

Don't Climb a Mountain with an Intention that the World Should See You,
Climb the Mountain with the Intention to See the World


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Father is flying a kite. His son is watching him carefully. After some time son says " Dad. Because of the string the kite is not able to go any further higher. "
Hearing this, the father smiles and breaks the string.
The kite goes higher after breaking of the thread and then shortly after that it comes and falls on the ground.
The child is very dejected and sad.

The father sits next to him and calmly expalains
" Son, in life we reach a certain level of prosperity and then we feel that there are certain things in our life that are not letting us grow any further like Home, Family, Culture Friendship etc. We feel we want to be free from those strings which we believe are stopping us from going higher.
But, remember son. Going higher is easier than staying at the higher level.
And friends, family and culture etc are the things that will help us stay stable at the high heights that we have achieved. If we try to break away from those strings our condition will be similar to the kite."
Moral
" never go away from culture, family, friends and relationships as they help keep you stable while you are flying high."


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The ultimate & the most encouraging
lesson in English Grammar:-

‘If more than one mouse is mice,
then more than one Spouse is Spice !!!!

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Donkey logic .....Equations! - This is the best
I have read in a LONG time !!!!


Equation1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

 Donkey = eat + sleep + work

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey

 In other words,
 A Human that doesn't know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.


 Equation 2

 Man = eat + sleep + earn money
 Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:
 Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
 Man-earn money = Donkey

 In other words
 Man who doesn't earn money = Donkey

 Woman= eat + sleep + spend
 Donkey = eat + sleep

 Therefore:
 Woman = Donkey + spend
 Woman - spend = Donkey

 In other words,
 Woman who doesn't spend = Donkey

 To Conclude:
 From Equation 2 and Equation 3

 Man who doesn't earn money = Woman who doesn't spend

 So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
 And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

 So, We have:
 Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

 Therefore
 from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude


 Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

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In Japan, in a soap manufacturing company the soap blocks were made,
then wrapped in a wrapping paper automatically on an assembly conveyer belt
and finally packed in cartons...

Many a times it happened that the wrapping machine wrapped the paper without soap. i.e. you had an empty packet without soap.

To rectify this problem the Japanese company bought a X-ray scanner from the US for $60,000 to check on the  assembly line whether the container contained soap and wasn't empty.


A similar problem happened at Nirma soaps, in Ahmedabad in INDIA.. Guess what they did????

They bought a bajaj fan costing around Rs.1500/- and placed it on the edge of the assembly line.
The empty wrappers, without soaps just blew away!!!

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