SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 28

ಬೇರೆ ಬೇರೆ ವೃತ್ತಿಯಲ್ಲಿರೋ ಗಂಡಂದಿರೊಡನೆ ಅವರವರ ಹೆಂಡತಿಯರು ಜಗಳವಾಡೋ ಶೈಲಿ:


1. ಪೈಲಟ್ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಹಾರಡಬೇಡಿ.

2. ಟೀಚರ್ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ನನಗೇ ಹೇಳಿ ಕೊಡೋಕೆ ಬರಬೇಡಿ.

3. ಪೇಂಟರ್ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಬಣ್ಣ ಬದಲಾಯಿಸಬೇಡಿ.

4. ನಟನ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ನಾಟಕ ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಡಿ

5. ಧೋಬಿ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಒಗೆದ್ ಹಾಕಿ ಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ

6. ಡೆಂಟಿಸ್ಟ್ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಹಲ್ಲುದುರಿಸಿಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ

7. C.A. ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಚುಕ್ತಾ ಮಾಡಿಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ

8. ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರ್ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಪಾರ್ಟ್ಸ್ ಎಲ್ಲ ರಿಪೇರಿ ಮಾಡಿಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ.

9. ಆರ್ಕಿಟೆಕ್ಟ್ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಮುಖದ ಡಿಸೈನ್ನ್ನೆ ಬದಲಾಯಿಸಿಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ.

10. ಮಾರ್ಕೆಟಿಂಗ್ ಎಗ್ಸಿಕ್ಯುಟಿವ್ ಹೆಂಡತಿ: ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಮಾತಾಡಿದ್ರೆ OLX ನಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾರಿಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ.. ಹುಷಾರ್!

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Do this in ur mobile immediately....

One motorist met with an accident. He was unconscious. One cab driver stopped the cab and called ambulance and police. He took the mobile of that guy to call the family members of that guy. Luckily that guy hasnt locked his mobile. But what if the mobile was locked(which we usually are habituated to keep) how would have we reached the family members of that guy. There is a solution to that problem. Most of us use android phones,  we have cc called owner's info which will scroll on the lock screen. You don't need to enter any password to view the owner info. This will be continuously scrolling on the screen. Go to settings ->security-> lock screen-> owners info. Enter your details like your name and emergency contact number.    This will take just 2 mins to implement. It will be helpful if you loose your phone or god forbid if something bad happens. Please forward this to your groups. This will save someone life one day

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Pyaas lagi thi gazab ki....magar pani me zeher tha
Peetay tho marjatay aur na peetay tho bhi marjatay..ll
Bas yahi do maslay zindagi bhar na hal hue
Na neend poori hui...na khwaab mukammal hue..ll
Waqt ne kaha....kaash thoda aur sabr hota
Sabr ne kaha...kaash thoda aur waqt hota..ll
Subah subah uthna padta hai kamaane k liye saaheb..
Aaram kamaane nikalta hu aaram chodkar..ll
"Hunar" sadko par tamasha karta hai....aur kismat mehlon me raaj karti hai..ll
Shikayate tho bahot hai tujhse aye zindagi, par chup isliye hun ke jo diya tune wo bhi bahuto ko naseeb nahi hota....ll
Daulat ki bhuk aisi lagi ki kamane nikal gaye,
Jab daulat mili toh hath se rishte nikal gaye,
Bachon ke sath rahne ki fursat na mil saki,
Fursat mili to bache khud kamane nikal gye.

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An old man was lying on his deathbed. With only hours to live, he suddenly smelt chocolate chip cookies wafting up from the kitchen. Driven on by his favourite smell, he somehow managed to pull himself out of bed, across the floor to the stairs, and slowly down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man’s wife was baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last bit of energy, mustering everything he had left, he reached for a cookie only to get his hand slapped. 'No,' the wife snapped, 'these are for the funeral!'

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Good message
When flood comes, fish eats ants and when flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. Just hold on. Nature gives opportunity to every one.In a theatre when drama plays, you opt for front seats. When film is screened, you opt for rear seats. Your position in life is only relative. Not absolute.For making soap, oil is required. But to clean oil, soap is required. This is the irony of life.Every problem has (N+1) solutions: where N is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried."Only two category of people are happy in life - the Mad and the Child. Be Mad to achieve a goal. Be a Child to enjoy what you achieved."

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Two managers were walking through a jungle.
They saw a hungry tiger.
One of the guys started tightening his shoe laces, getting ready to run.
The other asked, "Do you really think you can run faster than the tiger?"
He replied, "I don't have to run faster than the tiger; I just have to run faster than you!!"

That's today's CORPORATE WORLD.

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एक हैदराबादी परिवार में बेटा स्कूल से रोता हुआ घर आया.

मां : काईकू रोरा ?

बेटा : टीचर मारी मेरेकू

मां : काईकू मारी चुडैल तेरेकू ?

बेटा : मैं मुर्गी बोला उसकू

मां : अरे काईकू ऐसा बोला रे ?

बेटा : काईकू बोले तो ? हर पेपर में आंडा देरी मेरेकू.

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One of the BEST msg  , Worth reading-

A group of friends visited their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned to complaints about

'STRESS' & 'TENSION' in Life.

Professor offered them Coffee & returned from kitchen with Coffee in different kinds of cups !!!

(Glass Cups, Crystal Cups, Shining Ones, Some Plain Looking, Some Ordinary & Some Expensive Ones......)

When all of them had a Cup in Hand,

the professor said:-

"If you noticed-

all the Nice Looking & Expensive Cups are taken up,

leaving behind the ordinary ones !!

Everyone of you wanted the Best CUPS,

&

that is the source of your STRESS & TENSION !!

What you really wanted was

"Coffee", not the "Cup" !

But you still went for the Best Cup.

If Life is Coffee ;

Then Jobs, Money, Status & Love etc. are the Cups !!!

They are just TOOLS to hold and contain Life.

Please Don't Let the CUPS Drive you !!

Enjoy the COFFEE ......!!!
What is life ?
They say its from B to D...from Birthday to Death..But what's between B  and D?
Its a  " C "  Choice ...
Our life is a matter of choices...
Live well and it will never go wrong....
Always have faith on your ability's.... You can do it...