SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 34

Mr Anantharaman Subbaraman from Tamil Nadu was waiting for clearence in US airport for over an hour.. 
He went to the counter and asked "why are you not calling my name"?
Officer- "We have been announcing & calling you for so long. Where were you"??
In the meantime announcement came "final call for Mr. 'Anotherman Superman' please board the plane"!


============================================


👌👌  who is poor?

A wealthy woman goes to a saree store and tells the boy at the counter "Bhaiya show some cheap sarees. It is my son's marriage and I have to give to my maid."
 
After sometime, the maid comes to the saree shop and tells the boy at the counter "Bhaiya show some expensive sarees. I want to gift my Mistress on her son's marriage"
 
Poverty is in the mind or in the purse?


=============================================

Do you use Gas for cooking?
Please read this and take note. Let this not happen to you.. This could be a common mistake in any household.
This shocking accident
happend.  A housewife died due to burns sustained in the
kitchen. Her husband too was
hospitalized for injuries due to burns while trying to
rescue his wife.

How it happened:
The gas stove was on and cooking in progress. 
The lady observed some cockroaches near
the sink and grabbed a
can of insect killer and sprayed it near the gas stove, which was on. 
There was an explosion and in no time the poor woman was covered in flames, sustaining 65% burns.

 Her husband rushed in, tried to put out the flames and his clothes too caught fire. 
The husband is still in hospital, in the burns ward, 
still unaware that his wife was declared dead on
arrival. 

Let us understand: - All insect killer sprays such as
"Hit", "Mortein" etc. have highly volatile and inflammable solvents.

The atomized nano spray particles spread very rapidly and one spark is enough to ignite this explosive mixture with oxygen present in air. 

Please educate your family & Friends about this and spread the word around.... 

Don't Keep this msg. in your inbox. 
Please share...
who knows you may save more than a life... 


I just did my part.!



=======================================================
What we can call Hindu GOD names in IT world.

Brahma: “System installer”

Vishnu: “System operator”

Shiva: “System programmer”

Narada: “Data Transmitter”

Yama: “Deleter”

Apsara & Rambha: “Virus”

Ganapati: “Anti virus”

Hanuman: “E-Mail”

Chitragupta: “Hard Disc”

Saraswati: “Google"

Parvati: “Mother Board”

Lakshmi: “ATM”


=================================




BALANCE SHEET Of LIFE:
          
🔺 What comes to you is
            Credit.                                       
🔺 What goes from you is
            Debit.                     
🔺 Birth is your Opening
            Stock.                                       
🔺Death is your Closing
           Stock.                   
🔺Your ideas are your
           Assets.                                       
🔺Your views are your
           Liabilities.                                  
🔺 Your happiness is your
            Profit.                     
🔺Your sorrow is your Loss.           
🔺Your soul is your
          Goodwill.                                     
🔺 Your heart is your fiixed
            Assests.                 
🔺 Your duties are your
            outstanding Expennses.              
🔺Your friendship is your
            hidden Adjustment.                   
🔺 Your character is your
            Capital.                                          
🔺 Your knowledge is your
            Investment.                                
🔺Your patience is your
           Bank Balance.                        
🔺Your thinking is your
           Current Account.                   
🔺Your behaviour is your
           Journal Entry.       
🔺 Bad things you should
            always Depreciate.



Have a nice balance sheet 👍

================================================


Worth reading....
good story. 

Once there was a farmer who discovered that he had lost his watch in the farm. It was not an ordinary watch because it had sentimental value for him.

After searching the hay for a long while,
he gave up and call the help of a group of children playing outside the barn.
He promised them that, the person who found it, would be rewarded.

Hearing this, the children hurried inside the barn, went through and around the hay but still could not find the watch. Just when the farmer was about to give up looking for his watch, a little boy went up to him and asked to be given another chance.
The farmer looked at him and thought, “Why not.? After all, this kid looks sincere enough.”

So the farmer sent the little boy back in the barn. After a while the little boy came out with the watch in his hand.
The farmer was happy and surprised and so he asked the boy, how he succeeded where the rest had failed. 

The boy replied, 
“I did nothing but sit on the ground and listen. In the silence, I heard the ticking of the watch and just looked for it in that direction.”

MESSAGE : A Peaceful mind can think better than a Worked up mind.
Allow a few minutes of Silence to your mind every day, andy see, how sharply it helps u to set your life the way you expect it to be.

MORAL : The soul always knows what to do to heal itself...
The challenge is to silence the mind.

====================================================




Girls go and spend Rs 300 on a sandal and come home and tell the whole house I went shopping.. 

Guys go out and spend Rs 1,000 on 🍻🍺and come home and sleep quietly.. 

This is what Simplicity is all about..