SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 81

STUPID questions people usually ask in obvious situations.😅
 1. At movies:
 "Hey ! What are you doing here ?"
 Me: "I am here to apply for the popcorn seller post?"
 2. In bus: An uncle steps on my feet:
 "Sorry did that hurt ?"
 Me: "No not at all. I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again ?"


😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴
 3. When I get woken up at midnight by a
 call: "Sorry ! Were u sleeping ?"
 Me: "Na ! I was doing research on monkeys in Africa. You thought I was sleeping, u stupid fool ?" 😴
 💇💇💇💇💇💇💇💇
 4. When they see me with shorter hair: "Hey ! Have u had a haircut ?"
 Me: "Nah ! Its autumn. my hair's shedding !"
☎☎☎☎☎☎☎
 5. When someone calls on land-line n asks: "Where r u ?"
 Me: "I'm in market with a telephone around my neck !!"
 🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘🚘
 6. When I m washing my car....
 Neighbor: "Hey ! Are u washing ur car ?"
Me: "No, I m just watering it so that it grows into a big bus.. 😄😄😄😉😉😉       

Share if U wanna put a smile on someone's face.. 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

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ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು  ಕನ್ನಡ ದಲ್ಲಿenglish ಫಿಲಮ್ಸ್ ಡಬ್ ಮಾಡುದ್ರೆ ಹೆಸರು ಹೀಗೆ ಇರಬಹುದು? 

HOLLOW MAN- 
ತೂತ್ ಮನುಷ್ಯ.

DIE ANOTHER DAY
ಇನ್ನೊಂದ್ ದಿನ ಸತ್ತು ಹೋಗು

GONE WITH THE WIND-
ಗಾಳಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸತ್ತು ಹೋದ 

SUPERMAN
 ಮಸ್ತ್ ಮನುಷ್ಯ

SCORPION KING- 
ಚೇಳು ರಾಜ್ಯಾ

THE MUMMY
ಅಮ್ಮ!!!

THE MUMMY RETURNS
ಅಮ್ಮ ವಾಪಸ್ ಬಂದ್ಲು

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
ಆಗಂಗಿಲ್ಲ 

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE II
ಮಂಡಳಿ ಆಗಂಗಿಲ್ಲಾ  2

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III -
ಮಂಡಳಿ ಆಗಂಗಿಲ್ಲಾ 3

IRON MAN
ಇಸ್ತ್ರೀ ಮಾಮಾ
This needs to be shared 😜😜

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Son: Mom, U said that we
         are created by God
         and Dad said that we
         have evolved from
         monkeys, Which is
         true?

Mom :  I told U about my
             side of the family
              and he told about
               his side of the
               family.
            😜😂😜😂

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ವೆಂಕ ಶಿವಮೊಗ್ಗ-ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಬಸ್ ಹತ್ತಿದ।
ಕಂಡಕ್ಟರ್ ನಿಂದ ಭದ್ರಾವತಿಗೆ ಟಿಕೇಟ್ ತೊಗೊಂಡ। ಭದ್ರಾವತಿ ಬಂದ ಕೂಡಲೇ ತರೀಕೆರೆಗೆ ಟಿಕೇ ಟ್ ತೊಗೊಂಡ। ತರೀಕೆರೆಗೆ ಬಂದ್ ಕೂಡಲೇ ಕಡೂರಿಗೆ ಟಿಕೇಟ್ ತೊಗೊಂಡ। ನಂತರ ಬೀರೂರು ಅರಸೀಕೆರೆ ಗುಬ್ಬಿ ತುಮಕೂರು ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಕಡೆ ಮುಂದಿನ ಊರಿಗೆ ಟಿಕೇಟ್ ತೊಗೊತ್ತಿದ್ದ ವೆಂಕನಿಗೆ ಕಂಡಕ್ಟರ್ ಕೇಳಿದ "ತುಮಕೂರ್ ಬಂತು ನೆಕ್ಸ್ಟೆ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು" ವೆಂಕ "ಇಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿಗೆ ಟಿಕೇಟ್ ಕೊಡಿ" ಅಂದ!!!!!
ಅಲ್ಲಾರೀ  ಶಿವಮೊಗ್ದಿಂದ ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿಗೆ ಒಂದೇ ಟಿಕೇಟ್ ತೊಗೋಬಹುದಿತ್ತು ಹಣನೂ ಉಳೀತಿತ್ತು" ಅಂತ ಕಂಡಕ್ಟರ್ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ।।।।
ವೆಂಕ ಹೇಳ್ದ " ದುಡ್ಡಿನ ಮನೆ ಹಾಳಾತು ಅದಕ್ ನಾನ್ ಕೇರ್ ಮಾಡಲ್ಲ ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಮಾತು ಕೇರ್ ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಕಲ್ಲಾ"
ಕಂಡಕ್ಟರ್ ಕೇಳ್ದ " ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಏನ್ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರು?"
" Long journey ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಡ ಅಂತ strict ಆಗ್ ಹೇಳವ್ರೆ"😊😊😊😊😂😊😂😂😂😂

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Two minute refresher management course.

Lesson One

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit, and ate it.

Management Lesson - To be sitting doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Management Lesson - Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold; the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realise how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Management Lessons - (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

This ends your two-minute refresher management course.

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*Beautiful Lines for Every  Group*
    
    ''Alone I can 'Say' but 
    together we can 'talk'.
    'Alone I can 'Enjoy' but 
     together we can 
    'Celebrate'. 
    'Alone I can 'Smile' but 
    together we can 'Laugh'.
    That's the BEAUTY of 
    Human Relations. 
    We are nothing without 
    each other 
   
 *😊Stay Connected!!😊.*

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