Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings - Part 89

ಗುಂಡ : ದೇವರೆ ನನಗೆ ಒಂದು ವರ ಕೊಡು.
ದೇವರು : ಯಾವ ವರ ?


ಗುಂಡ : ಜನ ಕೆಲಸ ಮುಗಿಸಿ ನನಗೆ ಹಣ ಕೊಟ್ಟು ಹೋಗಬೇಕು.ಅಂಥಹ ವರ ಕೊಡು.
ದೇವರು : ತಥಾಸ್ತು. ಹಾಗಾದರೆ ನೀನು ' ಸುಲಭ ಶೌಚಾಲಯ ' ವನ್ನು ಪ್ರಾರಂಭಿಸು.

😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

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How BEDROOM smells after MARRIAGE:
First 3 years....
Perfumes, Flowers,
Chocolate, 
Fruits...

�������������
After 3 years....
Baby Powder, Johnson's Cream and Lotions, 
Baby Oils....

�������������
After 15 years....
Zandu Balm, 
Vicks, Iodex, Relispray....

�������������
After 40 years....
Agarbatti...

�������������
Four stages of marriage:
��Mad for each other,
�� Made for each other,
�� Mad at each other &
�� Mad because of each other

�������������
What's Marriage?
Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense of Humans, that Destroys All The Six Senses and Makes The Person NON Sense..!

�������������
Definition Of Happy Couple -
HE Does What SHE Wants…
SHE Does What SHE Wants

�������������
Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command....

Husband: 
Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband..!!

�������������
'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."
- Shakespear

"Laughing At your Wife's Mistakes, can SHORTEN your Life...."
- Shakespear's Wife

�������������
Dont laugh alone  pass it on

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A young officer was on his round when one of the riflemen did not notice him and missed saluting him.

The youngster got cheesed off and summoned the Gorkha and asked him the reason for not saluting him. The Gorkha innocently gave out the reason that he did not see "Lieutenant Huzoor".

The youngster not convinced, punished the Gorkha to a thousand salutes. The soldier immediately started saluting...

Field Marshal Sam  Manekshaw  who was passing by and asked the youngster as to what was happening.
The youngster said, "Sir, this soldier had the audacity of not saluting me. So I have punished him with 1000 salutes."
Sam replied, "Bloody good punishment young man, but ensure that you return each of his salutes.”

For the next two hours the unit was treated to a scene of a Gorkha saluting and the young officer returning each of his salutes.

  👉👉 RESPECT is a
↔ TWO WAY STREET ↔

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ಕೆಲ‌ಸ‌ದ‌ ಒತ್ತಡದ‌ಲ್ಲಿ ಬೆಂಡಾದ ಮನಸ್ಸನ್ನು , ಹಳೆಯ ಸುಂದರ ಲೋಕಕ್ಕೆ ಒಯ್ಯುವ ಕೆಲ ಸಾಲುಗ‌ಳು...

ಓದಿ, ....

ಅಂದು ಬಡತನವಿತ್ತು.
ಹಸಿವು ಸೋಲಿಸುತ್ತಿತ್ತು.
ಒಮ್ಮೊಮ್ಮೆ ತಂಗಳನ್ನವಿತ್ತು.

ಆಟಿಕೆಗೂ ಬರವಿತ್ತು,ಆಟ ಸಾಗುತಲಿತ್ತು!
ವರ್ಷಕ್ಕೊಂದೇ ಹಬ್ಬವಿತ್ತು.
ದುಂಡಾದ ಇಡ್ಲಿಯಿತ್ತು.
ರುಚಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಸಾರಿತ್ತು.
ಅಪ್ಪ ಕೊಡಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಹಬ್ಬದ ಬಟ್ಟೆಯಿತ್ತು.
ಸಂಬಂಧ ಬೆಸೆಯುವ ಭೇಟಿಗಳಿತ್ತು.
ಹಬ್ಬದಂದು ಎಂಟತ್ತು ನಾಣ್ಯಗಳಿತ್ತು!

ಆಟವಾಡಲು ಅಜ್ಜನ ಆಲದಮರವಿತ್ತು.
ಹೂಂಗುಟ್ಟುತ್ತಾ ಮಲಗಲು ಅಜ್ಜಿಯ ಕತೆಯಿತ್ತು!
ಒಂದೇ ಹಲಸನು ಹಂಚಿ ತಿನ್ನುವ
ಹಲಸದ ಬಂಧಗಳಿತ್ತು!

ಜಾತ್ರೆಯಲಿ ಕೊಂಡ ಪ್ಲಾಸ್ಟಿಕ್ ಚೆಂಡಿತ್ತು.
ತುಟಿ ಕೆಂಪಾಗಿಸುತಿದ್ದ ಪೆಪ್ಪರ್ಮೆಂಟಿತ್ತು.
ಕೈಗೆ ಕಟ್ಟಲು ತೆಂಗಿನಗರಿಯ ವಾಚಿತ್ತು.

ಕೇರಿ ಸುತ್ತಾಟಕ್ಕೆ ಬಂಡಿಯಾಟವಿತ್ತು
ಮಳೆಗಾಲದಲಿ ಹರಿದ ಛತ್ರಿಯಿತ್ತು.
ನೆನೆದು ಒದ್ದೆಯಾಗುವ ಹುಚ್ಚುತನವಿತ್ತು.
ಜ್ವರ ಬಂದರೆ ರಜೆಯೆಂಬ ಖುಷಿಯಿತ್ತು.
ಜ್ವರದ ರಾತ್ರಿಗಳಲಿ ಅಮ್ಮನ ಕಾವಲಿತ್ತು.

ಪಾಚಿಯಲಿ ಜಾರಿದ ಅವಮಾನವಿತ್ತು.
ಮೋರಿ ನೀರಲೂ ದೋಣಿಯಾಟವಿತ್ತು.
ಮೀನು ಹಿಡಿಯುವ ಅಭ್ಯಾಸವಿತ್ತು.
ಅದಕೆಂದೇ ಅಪ್ಪನ ಹರಿದ ಲುಂಗಿಯಿತ್ತು.

ಬದುಕು ಕಲಿಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಹಳ್ಳಿಯ ಸ್ಕೂಲಿತ್ತು.
ಶಾಲೆಗೆ ನಡೆಯಲು ಗದ್ದೆಯ ದಾರಿಯಿತ್ತು.
ದಾರಿಯ ಮರಗಳಲೂ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿತ್ತು.
ತಿನ್ನಲು ಗೇರು, ಮಾವು,ನೇರಳೆಗಳಿತ್ತು.
ಉದಾಸೀನದ ವ್ಯಾಯಾಮವಿತ್ತು.
ರಾಗದಿ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಮಗ್ಗಿಯಿತ್ತು.

ಮಾತಾಡಲು ಕ್ಲಾಸ್ಲೀಡರ್ ಭಯವಿತ್ತು.
ಖುಷಿಕೊಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಲಾಂಗ್-ಬೆಲ್ ಇತ್ತು.
ಚೀಲೆಯಲಿ ಕದ್ದ ಬಣ್ಣದ ಬಳಪವಿತ್ತು.
ಮತ್ತೆ ಮತ್ತೆ ತಪ್ಪುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಉಕ್ತಲೇಖನವಿತ್ತು.
ಬರೆದು ಮುಗಿಯದ imposition ಇತ್ತು.

ಸ್ವತಂತ್ರದಂದು ಎರಡು ಬಾವುಟವಿತ್ತು.
ಲಾಡುಕೊಡುವ ಸರದಿಯಲಿ ಜಗಳವಿತ್ತು.
ಖುಷಿಕೊಡುವ ಲಗೋರಿಯಾಟವಿತ್ತು.
ಕಣ್ಣೀರು ತರಿಸುವ ಇಂಜೆಕ್ಷನ್ಗಳಿತ್ತು.
ತಪ್ಪಿಗೆ ಮೈದಾನ ಸುತ್ತುವ ಶಿಕ್ಷೆಗಳಿತ್ತು.

ಏನಿಲ್ಲ ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ನನಗಾಗ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಇತ್ತು.
ಎಲ್ಲಕ್ಕೂ ಮಿಗಿಲಾದ ಮುಗ್ಧತೆಯಿತ್ತು.
ಸ್ನೇಹದ ಅರ್ಥ ತಿಳಿದಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಆಗ ನನ್ನಲಿ ನಿಷ್ಕಪಟ ಸ್ನೇಹವಿತ್ತು.
ಮಾನವತೆಯ ಹೃದಯವಿತ್ತು.
ಹೃದಯದ ಮಾತುಗಳಿತ್ತು.

ಎದೆ ಬಿಚ್ಚಿದ ನಗು,ನೋವು ಕರಗಿಸುವ ಅಳು,ನಿರ್ವ್ಯಾಜ ಮನಸ್ಸೂ,
ಈ ಖುಷಿಗಳಿಲ್ಲದೆ ಈ ಜೀವ ಸೊರಗಿಹೋಗಿದೆ....
ಓ ಬಾಲ್ಯವೇ....
ನೀ ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಂದುಬಿಡು...
ಅಳುವಷ್ಟು ದುಃಖವಿದೆ,
ಅತ್ತರೆ ಅಪಹಾಸ್ಯದ ಭಯ!
ನಗುವಷ್ಟು ಸಂತೋಷಿಯಲ್ಲ,
ಅಷ್ಟಿಷ್ಟು ನಗು ಮೆತ್ತಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿರುವೆ!
ನನ್ನಲ್ಲಿನ ಮಾನವತೆಯೂ ಸತ್ತಿದೆ.
ಓ ಬಾಲ್ಯವೇ...
ನೀ ಮತ್ತೆ ಬಂದುಬಿಡು...

ನನ್ನ ಮತ್ತೆ .. ಮಗುವಾಗಿಸು..

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An eight-year-old child heard her parents talking about her little brother. All she knew was that he was very sick and they had no money left. They were moving to a smaller house because they could not afford to stay in the present house after paying the doctor's bills. Only a very costly surgery could save him now and there was no one to loan them the money. 

When she heard her daddy say to her tearful mother with whispered desperation, 'Only a miracle can save him now', the little girl went to her bedroom and pulled her piggy bank from its hiding place in the closet. She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. 

Clutching the precious piggy bank tightly, she slipped out the back door and made her way six blocks to the local drugstore. She took a quarter from her bank and placed it on the glass counter. 

"And what do you want?" asked the pharmacist. 

"It's for my little brother," the girl answered back. "He's really very sick and I want to buy a miracle." 

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist. 

"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my daddy says only a miracle can save him. So how much does a miracle cost?" 

"We don't sell miracles here, child. I'm sorry," the pharmacist said, smiling sadly at the little girl. 

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I can try and get some more. Just tell me how much it costs." 

In the shop was a well-dressed customer. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does you brother need?" 

"I don't know," she replied with her eyes welling up. "He's really sick and mommy says he needs an operation. But my daddy can't pay for it, so I have brought my savings". 

"How much do you have?" asked the man. 

"One dollar and eleven cents; but I can try and get some more", she answered barely audibly. 

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man, "A dollar and eleven cents - the exact price of a miracle for little brothers." 

He took her money in one hand and held her hand with the other. He said, "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the kind of miracle you need." 

That well-dressed man was Dr Carlton Armstrong, a neurosurgeon. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn't long before Andrew was home again and doing well. 

"That surgery," her mom whispered, "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost." 

The little girl smiled. She knew exactly how much the miracle cost ... one dollar and eleven cents ... plus the faith of a little child. 

Perseverance can make miracles happen! Miracle can come in various forms - as a doctor, as a lawyer, as a teacher, as a police ,as a friend, as a stranger and many others..

A river cuts the rock not because of its power, but because of its consistency.

Never lose your hope & keep walking towards your vision.

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There are Millions of People  on Earth So why u were Born The reason is that.....❓
 
"God is Expecting Something from You which is Not Possible by other Million People "

Feel the Value of Your Self you are Really Special...!!!

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If People Are Trying To Pull you Down.
Be Proud About It.
Because, It Only Confirms That 
You Are Above Them. 
Think Big..!!

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