SMS Jokes , funny text shares , Humour , Witty quotes , Greetings - Part 85

ತಿಮ್ಮ: ನಾನು ತೆಂಗಿನಮರ ಹತ್ತಿ ನೋಡಿದರೆ ಇಂಜೀನಿಯರಿಂಗ್ ಕಾಲೇಜ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರು ಕಾಣತಾರೆ ಗೋತ್ತಾ.
ಗುಂಡ: ಹತ್ತಿದ ಮೇಲೆ ಕೈ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ನೋಡು ಮೆಡಿಕಲ್ ಕಾಲೇಜ ಹುಡುಗಿಯರು ಕಾಣತ್ತಾರೆ.

😄😄😜

ಬ್ರಾಹ್ಮಣರ ಇಡ್ಲಿ ಹೋಟೆಲ್'ಗೆ ಶತಾವಧಾನಿ ಗಣೇಶ ಅವರು ಉಪಾಹಾರಕ್ಕೆ ಹೋಗಿದ್ದರು. ಮಾಣಿ ಪ್ರತ್ಯಕ್ಷನಾದ. ಅವನಿಗೆ ಇವರ ಮುಖ ಪರಿಚಯ ಇತ್ತು. 'ಸ್ವಾಮಿ, ನೀವು ಶತಾವಧಾನಿಗಳು. ಅಲ್ದಾ?' ಹೌದೆಂದರು ಗಣೇಶ್. ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ ಹೀಗೆ ಮುಂದುವರೆಯಿತು.

'ನಾನೊಂದು ಸಮಸ್ಯೆ ಕೊಡುತ್ತೇನೆ ಉತ್ರ ಕೊಡಿ, 

'ಹೇಳಪ್ಪ 

'ಒಂದು ಪದ್ಯ ಮಾಡಿ. ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಹೇಳೋ ಐಟಮ್ ಅಷ್ಟೂ ಇರ್ಬೇಕು. ಅದೇ ಸರದಿಯಲ್ಲೂ ಬರಬೇಕು

'ಹೇಳಿ'.

'ಸಾಂಬಾರು, ಚಟ್ನಿ, ವಡೆ, ಇಡ್ಲಿ'.

ಮಾಣಿಯ ಮುಖದಲ್ಲಿ ಗೆದ್ದ ನಗು. ಶತಾವಧಾನಿಗಳು ಅರ್ಧ ನಿಮಿಷ ಕಣ್ಣುಮುಚ್ಚಿ ಯೋಚಿಸಿ, ಗಂಟಲು ಸರಿಪಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಮಾತು ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದರು:

'ಹೇ, ಸಾಂಬಾ, ರುದ್ರಾ!
ಚಟ ಚಟ್ ನಿಟಿಲಾಕ್ಷಾ!
ಜಗದೆಲ್ಲೆಡೆ ನೀನಿರುವಡೆ,
ನಾ ಕಾಲೆಲ್ಲಿಡ್ಲಿ?'

ಸುಸ್ತಾದ ಮಾಣಿ 'ನಿಮಗೆ ಒಂದು ಪೆಷಲ್ ಕಾಪಿ  ಅಂತ ಓಡಿದ!

*********

What does it mean to be educated?
Those who are not spoiled by their successes,who do do not desert their true selves,but hold their ground steadfastly as wise and sober minded men,rejoicing no more in the good things that have come to them through chance than in those which through their own nature and intelligence are theirs since birth - Socrates(470-399B.C.)

*********

_BALANCE SHEET Of LIFE:_*
😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

        🔺Birth is your
          *Opening Stock*.
                  
🔺What comes to you is
                  *Credit.*
                  
🔺What goes from you is
                   *Debit.*

       🔺Death is your
            *Closing Stock.*

🔺Your ideas are your
               *Assets.*

🔺Your views are your
              *Liabilities.*

🔺Your happiness is your
                   *Profit.*

🔺Your sorrow is your
                  *Loss.*

   🔺Your soul is your
               *Goodwill*.

🔺Your heart is your fixed
                   *Assets*.

🔺Your duties are your
   *outstanding Expenses.*

🔺Your friendship is your
        *hidden Adjustment.*

🔺Your character is your
                  *Capital.*

🔺Your knowledge is your
               *Investment*.

🔺Your patience is your
            *Bank Balance*.

🔺Your thinking is your
         *current Account*.

🔺Your behaviour is your
              *journal Entry*.

🔺Bad things is your
          *Depreciation*.

Have a nice balance sheet.

      Always Remember
              *😍GOD😍*
                  *is your*
            *😊Auditor😊*
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

*********

*Kaizen Story: Tiger in the Toilet*

Once a stranded Tiger entered the washroom in a Corporate Office and hid in a dark corner. Since there were people outside the washroom through the day, the Tiger was afraid to come out.

Many people frequented the washroom, but the frightened Tiger didn’t touch anyone. However, after four days it couldn’t bear hunger anymore, so it caught a man who had come in, and ate him. 

This man happened to be an Assistant General Manager in the organization, but nobody noticed his disappearance. 

Since nothing untoward happened, the Tiger became bolder and after two days caught another man and ate him. 

This man was the General Manager of the organization. 

Still, nobody worried over his disappearance (Some people even happy that he was not seen in the office).

Next day, the Tiger caught the Vice President who was a terror in the organization. 

Again nothing happened. The Tiger was very happy and decided that this was the perfect place for him to live. 

The very next day the happy Tiger caught a man who had entered the washroom while balancing a tray of teacups in one hand. 

The frightened man fell unconscious. Within fifteen minutes a huge hue and cry ensued, and everyone in the office started looking for the man. The search team reached the washroom, flushed out the Tiger and saved the unconscious man. He was the tea boy in the office.

*Moral of the Story*

It is not the position, but our usefulness to others that makes us lovable and respectable. If your subordinates are happy in your absence that means your not a perfect leader.

Acknowledgement: From the book *Tiger in the Toilet*

*********

ಓದಿ ಆಲೋಚಿಸಿ... 

ಐಸಿಯುನಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದವನ ರಾಶಿ ಫಲ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಹೀಗಿತ್ತು.

ಇಂದು ನಿಮಗೆ ಶುಭದಿನ, ದೂರದ ಪ್ರಯಾಣ, ಕಡಿಮೆ ಖರ್ಚು, ಹಳೆಯ ಬಂಧುಗಳನ್ನು ಸಂಧಿಸುವಿರಿ, ಪ್ರಯಾಣಕ್ಕೆ ಯಾವುದೇ ಅಡೆತಡೆ ಇರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.



*********