Jokes , Fun , Haasya , Humor , Quotes , Greetings - Part 94

Socho agar Doctor film banate

to

Filmo ke naam kya hote- kabhi khaasi kabhi jukham.,
kaho na bukhaar hai,
TB NO 1,
Hum blood de chuke sanam,
Rehna hai Ab Hospital me,
Bachna Ae marijo, Dil to kamjor hai,
Ek hasina do kidni,
Ajab marijo ki gajab bimari.🚑🚑

**********

Truisms --for those of us who are mature!!

- Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

- I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."

- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

- I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

- Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

- Take my advice — I'm not using it.

- Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

- Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

- I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

- Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

- If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

- When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

- My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

- Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

- He who laughs last thinks slowest.

- Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

- Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

- I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

- The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it.

*********

*The Naked Truth of Life*

There was a man with four wives. He loved his fourth wife the most and took great care of her and gave her the best.

He also loved his third wife and always wanted to show her off to his friends. However, he always had a fear that she might runaway with some other man.

He loved his second wife too. Whenever he faced some problems, he always turned to his second wife and she would always help him out.

He did not love his first wife though she loved him deeply, was very loyal to him and took great care of him. 

One day the man fell very ill and knew that he is going to die soon. He told himself, *_"I have four wives. I will take one of them along with me when I die to keep me company in my death."_*

Thus, he asked the fourth wife to die along with him and keep him company. *_"No way!"_* she replied and walked away without another word.

He asked his third wife. She said *_"Life is so good over here. I'm going to remarry when you die"._*

He then asked his second wife. She said *_"I'm Sorry. I can't help you this time around. At the most I can only accompany you till your grave."_*

By now his heart sank and he turned cold. Then a voice called out: *_"I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go."_*

The man looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the man said, *_"I should have taken much better care of you while I could have!"_*

Actually, we all have four wives in our lives.

a. *The fourth wife is our body.* No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. *The third wife is our possession, status and wealth.* When we die, they go to others.

c. *The second wife is our family and friends.* No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. *The first wife is our soul,* neglected in our pursuit of material wealth and pleasure. It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go.

*_One of the best messages I have received_*

Pass it on..... 

*********

🙏🌹
Ek ghar me saas-bahu bahot pyar se rehte the..

ek baar ghar me ek guest aya..

bahu ne saas ko uss guest se baat karte suna..

saas keh rhi thi 'Beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h aur bahu namak ki tarah'..

ye sun kar bahu ko bahot bura laga..

wo udas rehne lagi..

jab saas ko is baat ka pata chala to bahu se kaaran puchha..

bahu ne kaaran bataya.

Tab saas ne hans kar kaha 'uss baat ka matlab he..

beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h jo har haal me mithi lagti h

 jabki bahu namak ki tarah hoti h jiska karz nhi chukaya ja sakta
Jinke bina har cheez ka swaad be-swaad ho jaata hai"......👌👌👌

So ALL BAHURANIS CHEER UP 😀😘😊😃 YOU ARE THE BEST👍

👌🍃Woman has the most unique character like salt
Her presence is never remembered but Her absence makes all the things tasteless !!🐾👍

Pass it to all the lovely ladies..😊

**********

Mother  is  flying  a  kite. 
Her son is watching her carefully. 

After some time son says "mom. 
Because of the string the kite is not able to go any further higher.

"Hearing this, the mother smiles and breaks the string. 
The kite goes higher and then shortly after that, 
it comes and falls on the ground. 

The child is very dejected and sad.

The mother sits next to him and calmly explains: 
"Son, in life we reach a certain level and then we feel that there are certain things that are not letting us grow any further like Home, Family, Friends, Culture etc. 

We feel we want to be  free from those strings which we believe are stopping us from going higher. 

But, remember son."That our home , family, friends and culture are the things that will help us stay stable at the high heights . 

If we try to break away from those strings our condition will be similar to the kite."we'll fall down soon..

Moral:
"Never  go  away  from  Home  Culture,  Family, Friends  and  Relationships as they help keep us stable while we are flying high..."

      😊Life is Beautiful😊
      👥Stay connected🎎

*********

Once Buddha was traveling with a few of his followers. While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. 
Do get me some water from the lake." The disciple walked up to the lake. At that moment, 
a bullock cart started crossing through the lake.
As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?" So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink." After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake. The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy. He returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back. This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha. Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, "See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own, and you have clear water. Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed,
just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless."

Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job, it is an effortless process. So keep ur mind cool and have a great life ahead. Never leave your close ones. If you find few faults in them, just close your eyes and remember the best time you spent together, because...

Affection is more Important than Perfection..!
Neither you can hug yourself nor you can cry on your own shoulder. Life is all about living for one another, so live with those who love you the most. Relations cannot be understood by the language of money, because some investments never give profit, but they make us rich...!
"Family n Friends are such Investments"

*********

Socho agar Doctor film banate
to

Filmo ke naam kya hote- kabhi khaasi kabhi jukham.,
kaho na bukhaar hai,
TB NO 1,
Hum blood de chuke sanam,
Rehna hai Ab Hospital me,
Bachna Ae marijo, Dil to kamjor hai,
Ek hasina do kidni,
Ajab marijo ki gajab bimari.🚑🚑

********

ನಿಮ್ಮ  ಆರೋಗ್ಯದ  ಓಳಿತಿಗಾಗಿ 

♦ *ಬಿಕ್ಕಳಿಕೆ ಬರುವುದೇ :* ಹುರುಳಿ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿರಿ.
♦ *ಕಫ ಬರುವುದೇ :* ಶುಂಠಿ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿರಿ.
♦ *ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹರಳಾದರೇ :* ಬಾಳೆದಿಂದಿನ ಪಲ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿರಿ.
♦ *ತೊದಲು ನುಡಿಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದರೆ :* ಮೃತ್ಯುಂಜಯ ಮಂತ್ರ ಹೇಳಿರಿ.
♦ *ಬಿಳಿ ಕೂದಲೇ :* ಮೂಗಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಬೇವಿನ ಎಣ್ಣೆ ಹಾಕಿರಿ.
♦ *ಮರೆವು ಬರುವುದೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಜೇನು.
♦ *ಕೋಪ ಬರುವುದೇ :* ಕಾಳು ಮೆಣಸು ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಮೂಲವ್ಯಾಧಿಯೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಎಳ್ಳು.
♦ *ಮುಪ್ಪು ಬೇಡವೇ :* ಗರಿಕೆ ರಸ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ನಿಶಕ್ತಿಯೇ :* ದೇಶಿ ಆಕಳ ಹಾಲು ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಇರುಳುಗಣ್ಣು ಇದೆಯೇ :* ತುಲಸಿ ರಸ ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಹಾಕಿ.
♦ *ಕುಳ್ಳಗಿರುವಿರೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ನಿಂಬೆ ಹಣ್ಣು.
♦ *ತೆಳ್ಳಗಿರುವಿರೆ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಸೀತಾ ಫಲ.
♦ *ತೆಳ್ಳಗಾಗಬೇಕೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಬಿಸಿ ನೀರು.
♦ *ಹಸಿವಿಲ್ಲವೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಓಂ ಕಾಳು.
♦ *ತುಂಬಾ ಹಸಿವೇ :* ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಹಸಿ ಶೇಂಗಾ.
♦ *ಬಾಯಾರಿಕೆಯೇ :* ಸೇವಿಸಿ ತುಳಸಿ.
♦ *ಬಾಯಾರಿಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲವೇ :* ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಬೆಲ್ಲ.
♦ *ಸಕ್ಕರೆ ಕಾಯಿಲೆಯೇ :* ಬಿಡಿ ಸಕ್ಕರೆ, ಸೇವಿಸಿ ರಾಗಿ.
♦ *ಸಾರಾಯಿ ದಾಸರೇ :* ಗೋಸೇವೆ ಮಾಡಿ,ಗೋಮೂತ್ರ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ರಕ್ತ ಹೀನತೆಯೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಪಾಲಕ್ ಸೊಪ್ಪು.
♦ *ತಲೆ ಸುತ್ತುವುದೇ :* ಬೆಳ್ಳುಳ್ಳಿ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ದೃಷ್ಟಿ ದೋಷವೇ :* ಬೆಳ್ಳಿ ತಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಊಟ ಮಾಡಿ,ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಕಿರುಕಸಾಲಿ.
♦ *ಬಂಜೆತನವೇ :* ಔದುಂಬರ ಚಕ್ಕೆ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಭಯವೇ :* ಗೋಮೂತ್ರ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಸ್ವಪ್ನ ದೋಷವೇ :* ತುಳಸಿ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಅಲರ್ಜಿ ಇದೆಯೇ :* ಅಮೃತ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಹೃದಯ ದೌರ್ಬಲವೇ :* ಸೋರೆಕಾಯಿ ರಸ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ರಕ್ತ ದೋಷವೇ :* ಕೇಸರಿ ಹಾಲು ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ದುರ್ಗಂಧವೇ :* ಹೆಸರು ಹಿಟ್ಟು ಸ್ನಾನ ಮಾಡಿ.
♦ *ಕೋಳಿ ಜ್ವರಕ್ಕೆ :* ತುಳಸಿ,ಅಮೃತ ಬಳ್ಳಿ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಕಾಲಲ್ಲಿ ಆಣಿ ಇದೆಯೇ :* ಉತ್ತರಾಣಿ ಸೊಪ್ಪು ಕಟ್ಟಿರಿ.
♦ *ಮೊಣಕಾಲು ನೋವು :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಮಾಡಿ ವಜ್ರಾಸನ.
♦ *ಸಂಕಟ ಆಗುವುದೇ :* ಎಳನೀರು ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಮಗು ಹಾಸಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮೂತ್ರ ಮಾಡುವುದೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಕೊಡಿ ಜೇನು.
♦ *ಜಲ ಶುದ್ಧಿ : ಮಾಡಬೇಕೇ :* ತಾಮ್ರದ ಪಾತ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನೀರು ಹಾಕಿ,ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ತುಳಸಿ ಎಲೆ ಹಾಕಿರಿ.
♦ *ವಾಂತಿಯಾಗುವುದೇ :* ಎಳನೀರು-ಜೇನು ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಭೇದಿ ತುಂಬಾ ಆಗುವುದೇ :* ಅನ್ನ ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಊಟ ಮಾಡಿ.
♦ *ಜಿಗುಪ್ಸೆ ಆಗಿದೆಯೇ :* ಪ್ರಾಣಾಯಾಮ ಮಾಡಿ.
♦ *ಹಲ್ಲು ಸಡಿಲವೇ :* ದಾಳಿಂಬೆ ಸಿಪ್ಪೆಯ ಕಷಾಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಕಾಮಾಲೆ ರೋಗವೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಮೊಸರು ಸೇವಿಸಿ.
♦ *ಉಗುರು ಸುತ್ತು ಇದೆಯೇ :* ನಿಂಬೆ ಹಣ್ಣಿನ ಒಳಗೆ ಬೆರಳು ಇಡಿ.
♦ *ಎದೆ ಹಾಲಿನ ಕೊರತೆಯೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಎಳ್ಳು.
♦ *ಎಲುಬುಗಳ ನೋವೇ :* ನಿತ್ಯ ಸೇವಿಸಿ ಮೆಂತ್ಯೆ ಬೆಳ್ಳುಳ್ಳಿ.