An ultimate one
π€ A husband at famous book store : ”Do You have a book called, ‘Husband--the BOSS of the House’..?”
Sales Girl: “Sir, Comics are on the 1st floor....
πππ
*********
*π³Project Manager* is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Procurement manager* is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Operations Manager* is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month if works harder.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Marketing Manager* is a person who convinces anyone that he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Financial Budget* Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³ Planning and Technical Team* thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Quality Manager/ Auditor* is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³HR Manager* is a person who thinks that... a Monkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Customer* is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby….!!!!!
ππ±ππ±π.......
πππππππ
Dedicated for all corporate guysπ
*********
The best joke heard in the recent years !!
Parents asked college watchman,"Is this a good college?"
watch man: "probably the best. I did my engineering here & got campus placement πππππππ
*********
At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace.
The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom's men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "I can't hear from the back."
πππππ
LESSON: Hold judgment until you've had all the facts. However, many times we fire the shots too quickly and beautiful relationships are ruined.
*********
*π₯ A short story π₯*
*There once lived a great mathematician in a village outside Ujjain.*
He was often called by the local king to advice on matters related to the economy.
His reputation had spread as far as Taxila in the North and Kanchi in the South.
So it hurt him very much when the village headman told him,
*"You may be a great mathematician who advises the king on economic matters but your son does not know the value of gold or silver."*
The mathematician called his son and asked,
*"What is more valuable - gold or silver?"*
*"Gold,"* said the son.
*"That is correct. Why is it then that the village headman makes fun of you, claims you do not know the value of gold or silver ?*
*He teases me every day. He mocks me before other village elders as a father who neglects his son. This hurts me. I feel everyone in the village is laughing behind my back because you do not know what is more valuable, gold or silver.*
*Explain this to me, son."*
So the son of the mathematician told his father the reason why the village headman carried this impression,
*"Every day on my way to school, the village headman calls me to his house. There, in front of all village elders, he holds out a silver coin in one hand and a gold coin in other. He asks me to pick up the more valuable coin. I pick the silver coin. He laughs, the elders jeer, everyone makes fun of me. And then I go to school. This happens every day. That is why they tell you I do not know the value of gold or silver."*
The father was confused. His son knew the value of gold and silver, and yet when asked to choose between a gold coin and silver coin always picked the silver coin.
*"Why don't you pick up the gold coin?"* he asked.
*In response, the son took the father to his room and showed him a box. In the box were at least a hundred silver coins.*
Turning to his father, the mathematician' s son said,
*"The day I pick up the gold coin the game will stop. They will stop having fun and I will stop making money."*
The bottom line is :
*Sometimes in life, we have to play the fool because our seniors and our peers, and sometimes even our juniors like it.*
*That does not mean we lose in the game of life.*
*It just means allowing others to win in one arena of the game, while we win in the other arena of the game.*
*We have to choose which arena matters to us and which arenas do not.*
πππππππππ
*********
Wife to hubby: Darling in pictures of Shiva-Parvati, Shiva has a Trishool.
In pictures of Vishnu-Lakshmi, Vishnu has Chakra in hand and pictures of Rama-Sita, Rama has bow in hand.
But in case of Krishna-Radha, he has flute in hand. Why is this?
π³π³π³π³
Hubby: You see dear the three God's whom you mentioned first are with the wives. That is why they have weapons.
Krishna is with his girlfriend. Hence no weapons required. This shows when it comes to dealing with wives, even Gods need protection.
πππππππ
*********
*Whatsapp group results are out...which one are you*❓
*1. Whatsapp Rooster:* π
Everyday wishing
Everyone good
morning and waking
them up is their
favorite job ...they go
quiet after this.
*2. Whatsapp Baba :* π€’
They send only
messages of God and
give discourses.
*3. WhatsappThief :* π»
They copy other
messages and forward
them.
*4 . Whatsapp Devadas :* π€
They always send
painful and sad
messages and
poems....and make
everyone else sad.
*5. Whatsapp news reporter :* π
They update everyone
about what's
happening in the world.
*6. Whatsapp Vidushak :* π€
No matter how sad
their life is they keep
replying to everyone
and keep laughing.
*7. Whatsapp Mauni Baba:* π·
They read everyone's
messages silently but
never reply...many are
unaware these people
exist in the group.
*8. Whatsapp Thinkers :*π
They try to change
people by sending good
purposeful messages.
*9. Whatsapp Poets n Singers :*✍π»
These people don't
know anything about
poems, they will be
worst singers still
expect the group
listen and bore
others with their
torturous hobby.
*10. Whatsapp Chatter :* π
They are not interested
in anything other than
chatting...they are
always online.
*11. Whatsapp monkey :*π€¦♂
They never reply...only
say haha..hehe.
*12 . Whatsapp Collector :* π πΌ♂
They only join but
never message.
*13.Whatsapp All Rounder :*ππΌ♂
They express their
opinion on anything
and everything. They
know about
everything and try to
elevate the over all
mood.
All of us belong to at least one of the categories...πππ
Share it Enjoy itπ
*********
This is really cracker.
ππHospital Special ππ
A woman called up Apollo hospital and asked~
"I want to know if the patient Rita Mehta in Room No 1438 is getting better??"
.
The RMO replied,
"She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days!"
.
The woman said,
"Thank God!
That's wonderful news!"
RMO:
" I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!"
.
Woman:
"No...no...
I am Rita Mehta. No one tells me anything here !"
ππ
*********
π¨π» father : father in law
π©π» mother : mother in law
πΆπ» son : son in law
π§π» daughter : daughter in law
π¦π» brother : brother in law
π±π»♀ sister : sister in law
π΅π» wife : ????
*She Is The Law*
πππ
πππππππ
Dedicated to all married friends
π΄π» Husband : ?????
_Follow the Law_ π€£
*********
π€ A husband at famous book store : ”Do You have a book called, ‘Husband--the BOSS of the House’..?”
Sales Girl: “Sir, Comics are on the 1st floor....
πππ
*********
*π³Project Manager* is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Procurement manager* is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Operations Manager* is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month if works harder.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Marketing Manager* is a person who convinces anyone that he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Financial Budget* Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³ Planning and Technical Team* thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Quality Manager/ Auditor* is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³HR Manager* is a person who thinks that... a Monkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months.
ππ±ππ±π
*π³Customer* is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby….!!!!!
ππ±ππ±π.......
πππππππ
Dedicated for all corporate guysπ
*********
The best joke heard in the recent years !!
Parents asked college watchman,"Is this a good college?"
watch man: "probably the best. I did my engineering here & got campus placement πππππππ
*********
At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn't go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace.
The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom's men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"
The woman replied, "I can't hear from the back."
πππππ
LESSON: Hold judgment until you've had all the facts. However, many times we fire the shots too quickly and beautiful relationships are ruined.
*********
*π₯ A short story π₯*
*There once lived a great mathematician in a village outside Ujjain.*
He was often called by the local king to advice on matters related to the economy.
His reputation had spread as far as Taxila in the North and Kanchi in the South.
So it hurt him very much when the village headman told him,
*"You may be a great mathematician who advises the king on economic matters but your son does not know the value of gold or silver."*
The mathematician called his son and asked,
*"What is more valuable - gold or silver?"*
*"Gold,"* said the son.
*"That is correct. Why is it then that the village headman makes fun of you, claims you do not know the value of gold or silver ?*
*He teases me every day. He mocks me before other village elders as a father who neglects his son. This hurts me. I feel everyone in the village is laughing behind my back because you do not know what is more valuable, gold or silver.*
*Explain this to me, son."*
So the son of the mathematician told his father the reason why the village headman carried this impression,
*"Every day on my way to school, the village headman calls me to his house. There, in front of all village elders, he holds out a silver coin in one hand and a gold coin in other. He asks me to pick up the more valuable coin. I pick the silver coin. He laughs, the elders jeer, everyone makes fun of me. And then I go to school. This happens every day. That is why they tell you I do not know the value of gold or silver."*
The father was confused. His son knew the value of gold and silver, and yet when asked to choose between a gold coin and silver coin always picked the silver coin.
*"Why don't you pick up the gold coin?"* he asked.
*In response, the son took the father to his room and showed him a box. In the box were at least a hundred silver coins.*
Turning to his father, the mathematician' s son said,
*"The day I pick up the gold coin the game will stop. They will stop having fun and I will stop making money."*
The bottom line is :
*Sometimes in life, we have to play the fool because our seniors and our peers, and sometimes even our juniors like it.*
*That does not mean we lose in the game of life.*
*It just means allowing others to win in one arena of the game, while we win in the other arena of the game.*
*We have to choose which arena matters to us and which arenas do not.*
πππππππππ
*********
Wife to hubby: Darling in pictures of Shiva-Parvati, Shiva has a Trishool.
In pictures of Vishnu-Lakshmi, Vishnu has Chakra in hand and pictures of Rama-Sita, Rama has bow in hand.
But in case of Krishna-Radha, he has flute in hand. Why is this?
π³π³π³π³
Hubby: You see dear the three God's whom you mentioned first are with the wives. That is why they have weapons.
Krishna is with his girlfriend. Hence no weapons required. This shows when it comes to dealing with wives, even Gods need protection.
πππππππ
*********
*Whatsapp group results are out...which one are you*❓
*1. Whatsapp Rooster:* π
Everyday wishing
Everyone good
morning and waking
them up is their
favorite job ...they go
quiet after this.
*2. Whatsapp Baba :* π€’
They send only
messages of God and
give discourses.
*3. WhatsappThief :* π»
They copy other
messages and forward
them.
*4 . Whatsapp Devadas :* π€
They always send
painful and sad
messages and
poems....and make
everyone else sad.
*5. Whatsapp news reporter :* π
They update everyone
about what's
happening in the world.
*6. Whatsapp Vidushak :* π€
No matter how sad
their life is they keep
replying to everyone
and keep laughing.
*7. Whatsapp Mauni Baba:* π·
They read everyone's
messages silently but
never reply...many are
unaware these people
exist in the group.
*8. Whatsapp Thinkers :*π
They try to change
people by sending good
purposeful messages.
*9. Whatsapp Poets n Singers :*✍π»
These people don't
know anything about
poems, they will be
worst singers still
expect the group
listen and bore
others with their
torturous hobby.
*10. Whatsapp Chatter :* π
They are not interested
in anything other than
chatting...they are
always online.
*11. Whatsapp monkey :*π€¦♂
They never reply...only
say haha..hehe.
*12 . Whatsapp Collector :* π πΌ♂
They only join but
never message.
*13.Whatsapp All Rounder :*ππΌ♂
They express their
opinion on anything
and everything. They
know about
everything and try to
elevate the over all
mood.
All of us belong to at least one of the categories...πππ
Share it Enjoy itπ
*********
This is really cracker.
ππHospital Special ππ
A woman called up Apollo hospital and asked~
"I want to know if the patient Rita Mehta in Room No 1438 is getting better??"
.
The RMO replied,
"She is doing very well. She had her first solid meal today, her blood pressure is fine and if she continues improving she might even be sent home in a couple of days!"
.
The woman said,
"Thank God!
That's wonderful news!"
RMO:
" I take it you must be a family member or a close friend!"
.
Woman:
"No...no...
I am Rita Mehta. No one tells me anything here !"
ππ
*********
π¨π» father : father in law
π©π» mother : mother in law
πΆπ» son : son in law
π§π» daughter : daughter in law
π¦π» brother : brother in law
π±π»♀ sister : sister in law
π΅π» wife : ????
*She Is The Law*
πππ
πππππππ
Dedicated to all married friends
π΄π» Husband : ?????
_Follow the Law_ π€£
*********
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